oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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