he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
