Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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