Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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