He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
