she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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