Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
