im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
