Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
