i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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