No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
