I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
