good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
