so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
