so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
