okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
