thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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