i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
