I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
