The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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