Soap is not a condiment
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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