She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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