wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
