Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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