I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
