i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
