cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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