You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
