piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
