you would pick up someone in the library
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
