i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
