Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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