I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
