i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
