Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
