I'm going to jail i love you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
