Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Even my vagina gasped.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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