Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
