Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
