i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
