everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
