i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
