What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
