nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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