I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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