Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
