Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
