we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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