I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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