VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
