Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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